What twenty-something doesn't compare his or herself to others at some point? Which of us can say we've never faced insecurity? You'd think all the imperfections of being a 20-something would thrive as I transitioned from single gal to new wife and mom of four. But, somehow, my brain has never gone down that road. I just don't compare myself to Tara, which is surprising. (It's perfectly normal to have comparative thoughts and questions about partners that were present before you in romantic relationships.)
Friends and other loving people in our community often say very kind things to me:
"Tara handpicked you. She would have loved you."
"I hope there's a Molly out there for my husband."
"You're doing a great job. The kids have come so far since you've been around."
"Matt just looks so happy."
The immense support our family and that I personally feel from our community is remarkable. These heartwarming compliments people pay I must admit do help me through tough days. Still, what helps me more, is this:
I am Tara Boland's beneficiary. Please forgive me as that sounds bold, and allow me to explain. Tara shaped the man I fell in love with. Tara birthed and nursed the four children who are the center of my world. Tara started the foundation that captivated my heart after my mother's illness. To call me lucky would be inappropriate. And to say I am blessed wouldn't scratch the surface. It is both devastating to me and unequivocally divine intervention that this woman is responsible for my happiness and for the life that gives me so much fulfillment. She built it and I've living it.There is no comparison. And it is not right. But, to me, there's just no more important role I could play than this one.
To me, there are no shoes to fill, here. Hers remain and now mine are sitting adjacent. Both pairs influence the baby steps our family is taking as we strive to make today count.